Alexander Q: The most successful failure in the world

A gay man's quest for successful weight loss, a fullfilling love life and professional validation that opens doors, brings down mountains and summons the full fury of Olympus upon the world…all before 2

Month: January, 2016

Thursday Thought: Switching Paths

Dear reader,

If you’re thinking of switching from one career path to another, specifically, retail to non retail; I have one word of advice.


Don’t try it. The career world isn’t ready for you, nor are you ready for it. You have skills, yes, but your skills aren’t what the world wants, especially in the corporate world, which is far removed from where you are now. You are better off just resigned to your path and hope you make it as a store or district manager.

Still reading? Hoping to find something more meaningful? Well, that ends here. I’m going to assume that you were not put off by the first two paragraphs. I’m going to assume you’re ready.

Guess what, no one ever is, but now’s as good a time as any no?

If you’re still reading this, then I assume you are really wanting to change your career path. Let me tell you, prepare for a bumpy ride on all accounts. I’m going through it right now, sending out the resumes, networking with the influences and game changers in the field, whoever I need to talk to to make things happen. I’m doing the rounds of interviews, getting turned down or just flat out ignored. I’m going to tell you that the ride there has been one of the most draining things out there, and it only gets more exhausting and draining as time goes on.

This is going to be an endurance test not only of your persistence, but of your extraversion and your resilience. Every rejection email you receive will be just as heartbreaking as the first, but the time spent mourning get’s shorter and shorter, and you may find yourself telling yourself less and less that “you just weren’t good enough”. You will become short and very easily agitated by your peers and family members who seem to have this job thing down easy; they’re trying to help you, but may lack the empathy to truly understand what you’re gong through. Just be patient with them and know that their concerns come from a good place.

Speaking of which, your friends and family doing well now? As the old saying goes “This too shall pass”. Everyone’s lives their lives in seasons, and no one ever lives in eternal summer.

Ah, people, can’t live with them…no, that’s about it. You will encounter recruiters who have a backbone, but no compassion; compassion, but no backbone and everything in between. You’re going to have recruiters who can’t seem to make sense of your current career and where you would fit into their organization. It’s okay, those recruiters who can’t comprehend you probably aren’t the ones you want to be working alongside with. Recruiters are human, like you though, they have hired the wrong candidate at least a few times in their careers and they are just as uncomfortable telling someone no as much as you are receiving that no from them.

Speaking of No’s, you’re gonna hear it a lot. Do yourself a favor, if and when you get that No, tell yourself that you are okay. By all means do you have permission to go through the stages of mourning when you get that no, rejection should be mourned. Don’t spend too much time by the graveside of a potential career path though, time is of the essence. Keep moving forward, even when your mind, heart, body and spirit tell you that you should’ve quit a while back, that one more emotional and psychological heartbreak isn’t worth the effort. You are worth the effort, remind yourself that.

If you’re going go through changing your career path, or losing weight, or finding love, or any other significant life change, If you take nothing else from this, its two things

  1. Be ready for heart break
  2. *Left unfinished, this isn’t over just yet*

“The realest job hunter” Sloppy Seconds: Why you dont want your friend’s old job


You get an email from a friend that says a job has opened up in their workplace. You decide to take a look at it and discover its a job your friend has or its one you’re taking from them due to a promotion, move, etc. It sounds like a great deal, but somewhere in the back of your head, something is telling you not to take it. Whether it is nervousness, fear, or the sudden realization you’re taking a “hand me down” from a friend or colleague, you’re not alone.

In my experience as a manager hiring for in the retail, I’ve noticed that there were two reasons why someone didn’t want the job a fellow colleague has either left or moved up from.

–  The hand me down issue or
–  The legacy Issue

The hand me down issue is simply our desire to be on par with our peers. We don’t like the idea of our friends being our bosses and so we feel that in order to appear successful or worthy of their time and attention, we need to be where they are at right now. If the job at hand is a stepping stone in the right direction for you professionally, you’re going to have to eat some humble pie and accept that no one is ever at the same level at the same time as everybody and that there’s someone looking up at you whose wondering when they will be able to catch up with you.

The legacy issue may be a bit more complex. When a friend leaves and you take their spot, you may have just inherited all of their allies and cohorts in the office. While that can be a good thing for those who were popular and well liked, it may not be so good for someone who left on less than desirable terms. The former can also be a bad thing as the expectations others had of the friend might be placed unfairly on your shoulders; “If Janice could do it, you should be able to do it too.” At this point, if you do accept and take the job, you will have to work fast and diligently to differentiate yourself positively from Janice through willingness to observe and listen and to

Overall, Humility is one of the catalysts to success in this case. Don’t be ashamed or nervous about taking a job from a friend, if it got them to where they want to go, it could help you out too.

Tell me, what do you think? I’d love to hear your feedback.