During the BART ride home from Pride this past weekened, I somehow managed to get a very nice looking man the chance to chat with me on the train. We basically shot the shit until he mentioned he had a boyfriend, which was not brought to my attention until after the nice lesbian who was sitting next to us told me after he left. Needless to say, I was feeling, of all things, embarassed.
Later on, after a pep talk from my friend Rob, I gave a group of other guys a chance, I managed to flirt with one of them, finding out they lived in our area and were even going to go eat somewhere afterwards. For some reason, theres a part of me that forgot to ask for a number, IG account, FB page, something. Perhaps it was some fallout from my last encounter. Strike 2.
Overall, I was a mess. I didn’t feel good about myself and was feeling kinda *ugh*. But hey, you do realize this blog was originally about failure right?
Because of those two encounters though, I know what I have to work on.
My only opportunity is that I have some severe body issues that need to be dealt with, but until I start exercising and eating right or cheeseburgers suddenly taste disgusting (they wont) I’ll have to work on getting the body that will give me confidence to talk to these guys (Gays…ugh). I will own up to a few things though, I know I can talk up strangers, I know I can keep the convo going and I know that I can at least get some contact info soon after. I commended myself for at least giving it a shot. I hate that feeling of never knowing what life would’ve been like, I’d much rather take the opportunity to fall flat on my face than to have never even tried and wondered what was up with that at a later date in time.
Long story short, talk to that girl or guy you see everyday and see where it takes you. It’s always worth a shot and the embarrassment doesn’t usually last long…
…the regret, however, lasts a very long time.
(Shout out to my friend Rob for the pep talk)