Alexander Q: The most successful failure in the world

A gay man's quest for successful weight loss, a fullfilling love life and professional validation that opens doors, brings down mountains and summons the full fury of Olympus upon the world…all before 2

Month: April, 2015

To thy self: My thoughts on being the person you were meant to be.

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By now, it seems that everyone has had a chance to watch or review the Bruce Jenner interview with Diane Sawyer. (I have not, I was asleep when it was on). By now, it seems that everyone has had their two cents added into that, overall, the feedback seems very positive.

I’m happy for Bruce Jenner for deciding to undergo his transformation. I’ve met a few transgender individuals myself. Granted, I had to fight through a lot of preconceived notions and my own transphobia to get to know them, but what I find inside is often the same thing thats found in many cis-gendered people as well, a desire to live our lives with minimal, unintended interference from outside forces, an opportunity to live the life of a person we were meant to be.

I could make this about homosexuals, transexuals and others in the LGBTQ community, but instead, I’ve come to the conclusion that we all have our own closets to work ourselves out of. Think about it; have you ever seen someone so unhappy with their job they’d quit at the first opportunity, but at the same time, they stayed behind? What was the reason? Was it for the paycheck? Was it for the prestige? the unwillingness to learn and start again? That would be a person whose stuck in their own closet. We may never know their reasons; perhaps the pay is worth it to them or they feel they are far to old and experienced to “learn new tricks.” Whatever their reason, if and when they decide to leave their own closet, it’s best to give them the support and love they need, and will probably desire.

It takes a lot of courage to walk away from the familiar and into the unknown, but even more so when it’s becoming a person that only you knew about. Don’t be afraid to be the person you feel you were meant to be. It’s a scary world out there, it could use a few more brave people out there.

The lonely road to happiness

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Happiness is a lonely road.

You might be thinking that I’m talking out of some sort of sad, self loathing place that I’ve recently been too. I am not, I am merely making the observation that some aspects of our personal happiness are best experienced alone.

Granted a lot of a family some of us have spouses or life partners and some of us even have kids of our own. While that does make most of us feel happy, even those that love, know and understand us as well as they do cannot comprehend what truly makes us happy and content with our lives. There comes a time in our lives when even they cannot walk alongside us on our road as they have not been equipped well for the journey, nor can we accompany them as well.

Some individuals on this planet, however, feel the need to deny or ignore that which makes them happy. I knew of a few individuals who felt that the pursuit of happiness was an unproductive endeavor as it did not provide for them the material wealth they so desired, or that it was an elusive goal that seemed hard for others other than themselves to comprehend and that they’d be mocked by others for the chance to find contentment. I can understand these two points well

While the pursuit of material wealth in and of itself is not a bad thing, we have to keep in mind that ultimately things get old and outlive their useful usefulness. The world around us does not benefit from material things but rather the thought and intent behind them. If giving things to others based on a genuine need is what truly makes you happy then by all means go for it. As for the others, I hate to go back on what I’ve said, but unless your happiness is derived from the suffering of others or yourself, there’s really no reason not to pursue your bliss.

It took a long time for me to understand what really made me happy. Granted,  I pick the pieces include along the way and I didn’t draw the conclusion until recently after a recent discussion with a friend of mine. I realize that the things that make me happy while others could not comprehend those things, it’s really not for them to understand or even care. yes there is room in our lives for us to walk that lonely road to happiness in a manner that makes us comfortable and content, you should never be scared to do so. Be brave and find that which makes you feel content.

what do you think? Please let me know, and feel free to share this post around, I love hearing other thoughts.