If you are alone on Valentine’s Day, here’s a comforting thought.
You really aren’t alone today
As I’m getting older, I’m finding myself dreading the day, reminding me that I have been single for a very long time. I have to admit that social ineptitude seems to screw up all the good things in my life, relationships included. I try to find things to fill the void, but at times it seems that nothing will fill as well as the love of another person.
I do my best to put myself out there. Dating is a lot like job hunting, there’s the hunting the part, the interview part and the hiring part, but most jobs don’t ask you to get physically intimate with them (at least not the ones I’ve been after, but then again, perhaps I’m going after the wrong industry). For me though, my job hunts and my dating life seem to parallel each other very well: Lots of texts and emails promising everything, but gaining nothing. This very depressing litany just made life worse and worse for me, until last year.
Last year, I decided that I was going to treat myself to an awesome Valentines Day. I took myself shopping, bought a few gifts for myself and took myself out for some dinner. I have to admit, it was an awesome and awkward experience for me, taking myself out on a date, but I did learn one thing; I had forgotten that I had to love myself as I am if I was going to be a “well adjusted” and happy person for someone else. Nobody wants to be a crutch for someone else, and nobody every really wants to be in a positing where they need one.
I’ve seen way too many codependent relationships in my life, and rarely do they ever prosper. Both partners using each other as a crunch didn’t really appeal to my Sagittarian senses, but at the same time, the safety and security of having someone to love seemed to appeal to me. Each time though, I’d walk away from something I thought was a good thing or fucking it up beyond the point where reconciliation would be okay. I’ve found that half the times, I really did walk away from something that would’ve been a good thing to me, while the other half I realized I dodged a bullet.
Now, if you’re alone by choice on V-Day, I salute you. You display bravado and a sense of confidence that many others in our generation lack. You’ve decided to hold out for someone, or maybe you came to the conclusion that a relationship wouldn’t fit with the current life situation that you’re currently in and rather than have one to keep up with the Joneses, you’ve decided you’re all you need for now, or ever. For those of you seeking a lover and feeling bad about not having one on V-day, cheer up. Yes, it sucks not having someone in your life to care about, but you probably have many other people who might appreciate a Valentines Day treat of some kind, perhaps you could give them a call and let them know you love them and what a positive difference they make in your life? It’s worth a shot.
Just know that if you are alone on Valentines Day, you are not really alone.