Drowning

by quebecalexander

I was listening to “You don’t own me” by Dusty Springfield tonight and it inspired me to pinpoint a problem I’ve been dealing with in the dating scene. If you have never heard the song, the link to the youtube video is here

If you subscribe to astrology, you would know that Sagittarians in general are fiercely loyal, yet they exhibit a near fanatical devotion to their independence. They often look for someone who knows when to come close and when to back off. Even without that to back me up, I am still someone who fiercely guards his private life and separate from the lover  times. I feel that it was that very reason why I broke up with my ex all those years ago.

Why do I keep my shields up? Why do I not let another person get that close to me? I can only explain it to you by saying that, when I feel like I’m getting too close to someone, I feel as if I am drowning.

I have this fear that if I were to get close to someone, I would completely lose the very person I was. I feel as if I am scared to go through some major metamorphosis and become something that I do not or cannot become. I’m not sure why I feel like I need to hang on to my identity, it’s not like I’m gaining anything with it. I feel as though it still needs to be hung on to, as a reminder of sorts.

So folks, my question is this; Are my fears valid or am I being silly? Can a person be a successful individual as well as an awesome lover? Your thoughts are welcome.

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