Alexander Q: The most successful failure in the world

A gay man's quest for successful weight loss, a fullfilling love life and professional validation that opens doors, brings down mountains and summons the full fury of Olympus upon the world…all before 2

Month: June, 2013

Things that are threats to Heterosexual Marraige, a pictorial demonstration.

Things that are threats to heterosexual marriage

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Divorce

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Spousal abuse

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Infidelity

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Substance abuse

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Apathy

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Keeping secrets

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Evil monkeys

 

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Flying evil monkeys

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Scary clowns

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A room full of scary clowns

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Tyrannosaurus Rex

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Tyrannosaurus Rex with Laser Eyes

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Zombies

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The Borg

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??? (I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure it could be threatening to heterosexual marriage)

What is NOT a threat to heterosexual marriage.

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These guys.

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These Ladies

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This family

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Or this family

Folks, remember, lots of things can destroy the sanctity of heterosexual marriage. The LGBT community is NOT one of them. As a matter of fact, most of the stuff that would affect your marriage would affect us too. In the end, we’re all in the same boat here, trying to love the one we want to spend the rest of our lives with using everything we have in our hearts, minds, bodies and souls.

This concludes this portion of the demonstration.

 

To whoever finds this journal….

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Day 17

I’ve managed to come across an abandoned building today, looks like no one’s been here for a while. I thought it would make a great place to set up camp for the night. I fortified the doors as best as I could, least the infected tried to make it in the building. I told the others on the walkie talkie I’d meet them at the Naval Air Force evacuation landing point tomorrow afternoon.

I slept pretty peacefully, given the horrors I had seen that day. It seemed pretty innocuous when it first started two weeks ago, first some people on the east coast, then a friend of a friend, then one by one, my friends fell to the infection, finally, there was no escaping it. I fled with a few others, but sadly I am the only one who made it this far. I spent a few weeks on foot, trying to evade the infected, sometimes missing them by a few days, other times barely escaping them. At this point, I’m confident I will make it.

It was about 2 am on my cell phone when I awoke to the noise, that glaring sound that bites into my very soul when I heard it…and it was at that point I realized I was surrounded by them. Thankfully, the perimeter I established was strong enough to keep them out, however, I can hear their screams outside of the building, one by one, they make that intolerable sound, its like an unholy blinging of metal. To make matters worse, they scream what I conclude is the only thing their minds can comprehend now that most of their higher functions have been taken away from them. Even as I am writing this, I can still hear them, sounding even more furious than ever…

“Dude…accept my candy crush saga invite.”

May God show me mercy…I fear this may be the end for me.

You do realize …

You do realize that my life will move forward whether or not you’re in it. If you think that removing yourself from my life is gonna make me feel bad, then all I have to say to you is that it’s wasted effort on your part.

I told a guy how I felt about him (he’s cute and witty btw) , he responded by blocking me from his social media sites, ignored my texts and calls and by giving me the cold shoulder whenever he and I are nearby each other, even in the presence of mutual friends

*sigh* Time to move on.

How to reject and be rejected by someone….(no, seriously)

Rejection sucks; and the worst part is, everyone will go through them at one point or another. In this entry, I am referring to the rejection with regards to relationships. As someone who has been rejected and turned down by so many guys in my life, I feel that I am more than qualified to teach everyone how to reject someone desiring something more out of you, but to make it clear, concise and direct.

1. Be comfortable with the idea that you are about to shatter someone’s world. You have your reasons for not pursuing a relationship with that particular person right now, whatever they are, they are valid to you. Understand that, even though you are about to lacerate their heart and kick their self esteem down, they will get over it.

2. Thank them for the compliment. If the person expresses their feelings for you in such a way to indicate that they want to take things to the next level, take it as a compliment. I mean, someone took the time and effort to tell you that you are one incredible person worth spending a huge amount of time and resources with. The very least you can do is thank them.

3. Be cordial and succinct. Here’s where you get to explain why you are not looking into a relationship with them. This may get a bit tricky, so here’s a good way to handle it.

NoSimply put, just say that you are not interested in a cordial and pleasant tone. Feel free to list the reasons, but do so at your own risk as the victim may attempt to try to change for you (believe me, as a rejectee, I fell for that one a couple of times). If you guys have some other relationship to each other which would make dating either logistically impossible, illegal or unethical, the other person should be made to understand that too.

Yes, but not right now. – Think long and hard on this one, this one is a bit hard to backtrack from, and once you say it, the damage can be done. Maybe you do want to give this person a chance, but now’s not the time due to time constraints, familial responsibilities, etc. Let them know that you’re cool with what you two have at the moment, and let them know you will take things as they come.

4. Stand your ground. The other person has had their heart shot at, don’t feel bad for them. This is all about growing up in this world, we may think that the person for us will realize that, but in the end, it may not be that way. Re-affirm that you’re flattered they wanted to take things to the next level with you. If they cry, offer them a tissue, if they get mad or angry, back away from them and give them some space, but whatever you do, do not give in to pity or sorrow.

Now, the other side of the coin, how to be rejected and still come out a winner.

1. Be Gracious. What do I mean by that anyways? I mean that, even though you have just been tossed aside, fight the temptation to be as emotional as possible either through fists or tears. Showing maturity and self control surprises people for some reason. Remember, they are just as nervous about turning you down as you are about being turned down by them (or maybe the heartless bitch wants you to suffer). Who knows, they may be open to the idea down the road, showing graciousness ensures that the door is closed, but not locked.

2. Pain is the cleanser Ever notice that after a major exercise session, you feel a bit of soreness for a few days, but it goes away and you feel much better? Love is a lot like that, we exercise our hearts to be as best as they can, but in order to be at their peak, they need to be beaten, broken down and torn apart, only to be rebuilt again. I’ve remembered being rejected by so many guys, but after getting the “thanks, but no thanks” replies, I realized that I became a bit stronger and wiser when I was out and about. I felt like crap for a few days afterwards, but after a week or so, I was back to my old self.

3. Know your worth If the rejection was based on some minor character flaw (it almost always is) focus on what makes you the greatest person ever, in your humble opinion. Whether it’s a skill, a cool trick or some hobbies that you have, you have some incredible things about you that someone else is going to experience. Even though you have been sucker-punched back into Singleton, one rejection cannot and should not define all of your life choices up unto this point. Maybe you guys are two trains going in opposite directions and that one person sees that while you don’t? Maybe you have a hygiene issue (a deal breaker for many, myself included) or maybe you’re just too fat for them (true story). Understand that you are a multifaceted individual that’s capable of making someone out there very happy, but it isn’t this person. I know its hard to do after a rejection, but try to find one thing to love about yourself, and if you have to, small, insignificant and silly things are great places to start

If you can find me someone who has never had their heart broken by anyone, I will show you someone who has never lived a day in their lives.

That’s all I have for now folks, feel free to comment and respond to this entry

Drowning

I was listening to “You don’t own me” by Dusty Springfield tonight and it inspired me to pinpoint a problem I’ve been dealing with in the dating scene. If you have never heard the song, the link to the youtube video is here

If you subscribe to astrology, you would know that Sagittarians in general are fiercely loyal, yet they exhibit a near fanatical devotion to their independence. They often look for someone who knows when to come close and when to back off. Even without that to back me up, I am still someone who fiercely guards his private life and separate from the lover  times. I feel that it was that very reason why I broke up with my ex all those years ago.

Why do I keep my shields up? Why do I not let another person get that close to me? I can only explain it to you by saying that, when I feel like I’m getting too close to someone, I feel as if I am drowning.

I have this fear that if I were to get close to someone, I would completely lose the very person I was. I feel as if I am scared to go through some major metamorphosis and become something that I do not or cannot become. I’m not sure why I feel like I need to hang on to my identity, it’s not like I’m gaining anything with it. I feel as though it still needs to be hung on to, as a reminder of sorts.

So folks, my question is this; Are my fears valid or am I being silly? Can a person be a successful individual as well as an awesome lover? Your thoughts are welcome.

Overcoming Facebook’s one big bummer.

Do you ever get sad and depressed when you see the feeds of other people on Facebook and think to yourself? “Man, I wish that was me.” Do you cringe at the thought of watching yet another friend getting married, while you’re still working on getting a first date with someone, or seeing a friend land an awesome job, while you’re stuck doing whatever it is your doing now?

I confess, I do get upset and sad like that at times. I feel like this at least once a week, partially because my job requires me to be plugged in for a majority of the time and partly because my life is so uninteresting, my voyeuristic tendencies take over and I have to see what people are doing. Most of the time, its me trying to purge the jealousy and rage out of my system, trying to fight back the pit of my stomach that says “that should be you.” Instead, I sometimes walk away from my laptop, a bit more mad at myself and a bit more sad that my life isn’t turning out the way I wanted it to.

If it seems like everyone’s life is moving at a faster or better speed than yours, my only advice is to remember that Facebook, and to a broader extent, social media at large,  is a very small part of your existence on this planet, and that we’re only sharing what we want to share. Never mind that your friend getting married is dealing with a secret addiction to alcohol or painkillers, or that the “dream” job your friend just landed will entail 14 hr days and a huge workload.

I’ve yet to meet anyone who had any inner demons that needed to be exorcised, and if they admitted to not having any, I consider them liars. I hate cliches, but struggle is the only way we grow, its the only way we find our limitations and our boundaries, and its the only way we find out if we’re able to progress past them. My weight loss journey, for example. To me, it doesn’t seem that exciting at all, its just something I’ve set my mind to. My friends, however, are inspired by my efforts, or at least thats what I’ve been told. I’ve noticed that the people around me have been making small, but meaningful choices around me with regards to their diets and exercise. I’ve received encouragement when I needed it and applause when I made a goal.

I would love to tell you guys about an exciting new job, or an exotic locale that I am visiting; but if my weight loss victories keep you guys engaged with me and inspire you to be better for yourself, then I will proudly continue doing so for you.

After all, life can be exciting if you know where to look. Sometimes, its where you never bothered to even check.

 

Probably the millionth post on Love on WordPress

Hello folks, I’ve had a very stressful few weeks, but I am back to entertain ya…(or give ya something to occupy the time between the cradle and the grave)

Driving home from work today (where some of my best ideas come from, probably the road rage or the desperation to get home to use the bathroom) I’ve come to the conclusion that love is something that cannot and should not be found.

Wait, we all dream of finding “the one” the one who completes us, the one who we would part the seas and climb the Himalayas for. Why are you telling me that love cannot be found?

it’s simple, love is something that cannot be found because it is something that has to be earned.

By being earned, I mean that love from another person comes from the time and effort spent trying to show the other person that you care for them in a different way, a way that is reserved for only the most intimate people in your life. Trust must be exchanged, as well as time and resources to make it work. Even if the prerequisites have been met, love is not a sure fire thing. Instead, both people have to come to the conclusion that, at some point, the other has earned the right to be involved with the other person on many different and deeper levels. It’s never a surefire thing, and someone you may have your heart set on might ultimately decide that you have not earned anything from them.

So why am I still single? Perhaps its because I neither have the time, energy or resources to earn the love of someone else; maybe its because I am focusing on all the wrong people. Who knows. Being single does suck balls, especially when you figure out that you’re the only single grandchild out of all the grandkids out there. Still, I am hopeful and will work as dilligently as possible to earn the heart of someone else

I will leave you with that folks, feel free to comment and share this post.